Start a new thread

21 to 30 of 30 replies


Thinking of you Mike & everyone else who has been diagnosed, all the best.

Danae dan-Ah-ee

Dear Mike, I’m truly sorry to read your difficult news.  I can’t imagine exactly how you’re feeling but I guess your emotions are all over the place.  In my experience, that’s natural.  My own brother is fighting cancer too, so I know how overwhelming it can be.

Try to concentrate, as much as you can, on matters positive: it’s treatable and medicine is advancing all the time.  If others can defeat it, you can too.

I have no doubt that, at times, hope is a thing a little out of reach.  When I, personally, feel like that, I cry.  Crying somehow relieves my pent-up pain, fears, frustrations, anger or sense of isolation and helps me regain some approximation of equanimity.  I can then look my enemy in the face and know my enemy is beatable.

It takes strength to admit our own unhappiness, especially when we feel it’s a sign of weakness; but we can’t hide from our own minds, so accepting what we are is one way of unburdening ourselves a little, I think.

At times of overwhelming stress, I try to keep my mind and body as busy as possible.  To avoid my own distressing thoughts, I keep the radio on day and night; just low so it doesn’t keep me from getting some sleep – when I can sleep - but there’s always a human voice in the room. 

Paradoxically, at such times I find sad songs a comfort.  Perhaps they help me feel I’m not the only one in such an unhappy situation?

I’ve heard that writing a letter, to whom or whatever you wish to address, in which you make all your feelings clear, is quite helpful. 

At the time of my extreme emotional pain, I had a magnificent clergyman who helped me enormously.  Talking to someone, in whom you have complete confidence, is most helpful. 

So, say what needs saying and keep your thoughts positive: it can and will be overcome.

Best wishes, Mike. X

All the best, Mike for your operation and recovery, and to the others that are affected with this horrible illness.

Hi Mike, I just want to wish you, and everyone here suffering from something so difficult, good luck and speedy recovery.  We're always told, positivity helps, so, please, try and keep your spirits up.

Hi Mike

Really thinking of you and dont envy you one tiny bit. Rest assured you will be in my thoughts. Keep your pecker up and the weeds down,

All the very best of luck.




Hi Mike, so unfortunate that the cancer has returned, yet that needn't be absolutely terrible.  Good results are achieved often and we all hope, I'm sure, that will prove to be the case with you.

I'm not a psychotherapist, but I think positive thinking, expressing your feelings or verbally "attacking" your enemy might well make you feel stronger.

Keep your thoughts positive and remember we are all thinking of you.

Sorry to hear that worries are weighing down on you Mike. 

Your anaesthetist should guide you regarding the epidural and anaesthetic and they should be advising the best option based on your medical problems, health and the nature of the operation. If you have an epidural, then you will have some sedation on top anyway. I would ask them about the post-op pain relief too - an epidural can be left in place for a few days to give good analgesia. 

Do you have a link-nurse that you can speak too? If you call the secretary for your surgeon, they will know if there is a link-nurse or oncology nurse available to you.

In the meantime, try to enjoy the little things in life that will give you a boost - e.g. treat yourself to a nice meal, a new plant or go for an Autumn walk. 

Take care and keep positive.

Hi Mike , Only just caught up with this thread. I think it is best to get these things out in the open do not feel you have to apologise for anything. As others have said things are improving all the time treatments advance prospects are much improved but it's still us that have to deal with the emotions. I have had 2 primaries myself, so got the all clear from 1st after 10 years of monitoring only to get another unrelated one another 2 years on so all in all I have been "dealing" with this for 20 years plus.  I find the hardest bit when I go to clinic now & they say things like why did you not have such & such treatment before the op & I have to remind them that this was not standard practice at the time. The other problem now is this aspect of patient choice, 1st time it was- "OK  you have this were are going to do this" - yes lets get on with it. Now for number 2 it was "well there are these options which one do you want" now I am not a medic but I was a lab scientist even I found it hard to understand all the info they gave me. I find the best thing to ask is "if this was you with your knowledge of the risks and benefits  what would you do?"

You can't always get them to give a straight answer to that one but sometimes they will. The trouble is they are all frightened of being sued these days hence all the extra questions.

Good luck with it all hope it goes well for you.

Hope everthing goes well for you Mike.  As for epidural versus general - I'd want to be knocked out and have no idea what they're doing, but it comes down to the medical advice and an element of personal choice.  My brother-in-law recently had a hip replacement under epidural!  Sod that for a game!!!!

God bless Mike and anyone suffering his dreadful disease. Mike? If it's any comfort, two of my brothers have had bladder cancer in the last five years, thankfully both came through, and apparently back to100% fitness, mainly due to queen Elizabeth hospital, Birmingham and their magnificent staff. 

Sign up or log in to post a reply